Friday, August 31, 2012

Sotterley (n.)

Uncovered bit between two shops with awnings, which you have to cross when it's raining.


Thursday, August 30, 2012

Draffan (n.)

An infuriating person who always manages to look much more dashing that anyone else by turning up unshaven and hangover at a formal party.


Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Sketty (n.)

Apparently self-propelled little dance a beer glass performs in its own puddle.


Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Brecon (n. anatomical term)

That part of the toenail which is designed to snag on nylon sheets.


Monday, August 27, 2012

Haxby (n.)

Any garden implement found in a potating shed whose exact purpose is unclear.


Sunday, August 26, 2012

Goosecruives (pl. n. archaic)

A pair of wooden trousers worn by poultry-keepers in the Middle Ages.


Saturday, August 25, 2012

Burleston (n., vb.)

That peculiarly tuneless humming and whistling adopted by people who are extremely angry.


Friday, August 24, 2012

Slumbay (n.)

The cigarette end someone discovers in the mouthful of lager they have just swigged from a can at the end of party.


Thursday, August 23, 2012

Aynho (vb.)

Of waiters, never to have a pen.


Wednesday, August 22, 2012

Trossachs (pl.n.)

The useless epaulettes on an expensive raincoat.


Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Berepper (n.)

The irrevocable and sturdy fart released in the presence of royalty, which sounds quite like a small motorbike passing by (but not enough to be confused with one).


Monday, August 20, 2012

Shalunt (n.)

One who wears Trinidad and Tobago T-shirts on the beach in Bali to prove they didn't just win the holiday in a competition or anything.


Sunday, August 19, 2012

Corriemuchloch (n.)

Word describing the kind of person who can make a complete mess of a simple job like walking down a corridor.


Saturday, August 18, 2012

Luppitt (n.)

The piece of leather which hangs off the bottom of your shoe before you can be bothered to get it mended.


Friday, August 17, 2012

Botcherby (n.)

The principle by which British roads are signposted.


Thursday, August 16, 2012

Drebley (n.)

Name for a shop which is supposed to be witty but is in fact wearisome, e.g. 'The Frock Exchange', 'Hair Apparent', etc.


Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Slubbery (n.)

The gooey drips of wax that dribble down the sides of a candle so beloved by Italian restaurants with Chianti bottles instead of wallpaper.


Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Henstridge (n.)

The dried yellow substance found between the prongs of forks in restaurants.


Monday, August 13, 2012

Gretna Green (adj.)

A shade of green which cartoon characters dangle over the edge of a cliff.

Gretna Green

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Berkhamsted (n.)

The massive three-course midmorning blow-out enjoyed by a dieter who has already done his or her slimming duty by having a teaspoonful of cottage cheese for breakfast.


Saturday, August 11, 2012

Slogarie (n.)

Hillwalking dialect for the seven miles of concealed rough moorland which lie between what you though was the top of the hill and what actually is.


Friday, August 10, 2012

Tuamgraney (n.)

A hideous wooden ornament that people hang over the mantelpiece to prove they've been to Africa.


Thursday, August 9, 2012

Bures (n.medical)

The scabs on knees and elbows formed by a compulsion to make love on cheap Habitat floor-matting.


Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Corstorphine (n.)

A very short peremptory service held in monasteries prior to teatime to offer thanks for the benediction of digestive biscuits.


Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Brymbo (n.)

The single unappetising bun left in a baker's shop after four p.m.


Monday, August 6, 2012

Shenandoah (n.)

The infinite smugness of one who knows they are entitled to a place in a nuclear bunker.


Sunday, August 5, 2012

Duggleby (n.)

The person in front of you in the supermarket queue who has just unloaded a bulging trolley on to the conveyor belt and is now in the process of trying to work out which pocket they left their cheque book in, and indeed which pair of trousers.


Saturday, August 4, 2012

Burwash (n.)

The pleasurable cool sloosh of puddle water over the toes of your gumboots.


Friday, August 3, 2012

Hever (n.)

The panic caused by half-hearing Tannoy in an airport.


Thursday, August 2, 2012

Bishop’s Caundle (n.)

An opening gambit before a game of chess whereby the missing pieces are replaced by small ornaments from the mantelpiece.

Bishop’s Caundle

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Shoeburyness (abs.n.)

The vague uncomfortable feeling you get when sitting on a seat which is still warm from somebody else's bottom.